Escape From the Planet of the Airlines

The Stephen King version of travel

By Barry Rubin

With four suitcases, a guitar, three carry-ons and three cats (snarling at each other, well, Josie wasn't snarling but the other two were) we were about to set off for Reagan Airport on the way back to Israel. The taxi was already outside.

Suddenly our wonderful travel agent called to warn us that our flight had been cancelled to NY. She pondered sending us through Atlanta to Tel Aviv but finally I asked about Baltimore airport and she found a flight.

So after a two-hour delay we set off--being sure to leave early--and went the 30 miles or so to the airport in a hard rain and heavy traffic. We got three trolleys (cost $15), packed everyone and everything aboard, stood in a long line (one woman who had apparently been on the same original flight flipped out and started screaming at the poor employee who was trying to explain to her that he'd moved her ahead of 30 other people). We got to the front--one of our bags was too heavy and we had to move stuff around and then pay $70 extra and got our ticket and advanced.


Coming to the security we took off shoes, belts, and jackets, and I made a deal with the TSA employee (she was very nice and helpful) to follow this 13-step procedure:

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